Calm the fuck down, UK, Europe, and everybody else who’s heard this idiotic bullshit.
Not only would it be illegal to even make it illegal–b/c it’s based on a Christian Extremist view of sex and Religion theoretically cannot create law (ha, within reason), it therefore cannot be made into law–the Congress would never pass it, and any Ex Ord would have the Supreme Court knocking it down within days. The Prez is a perv, people. That fuckface Bannon is too, but he wants to declare war on all Muslims, Jews, anyone who isn’t his brand of fascist Christianity. He doesn’t give a flying fuck about jerking off. The VP, OTOH, might think it but he’d never dare say it without getting laughed out of office and pelted with dildos.
Whoever created this rumor, I don’t blame you for being both afraid and disgusted with us, but trust me. Agent Orange isn’t a fundamentalist psycho. He’s only a greedy, gluttonous, fraudulent, thieving, ignoramous with a tiny dick and an even smaller brain.